First Post | The Canyon

^ Hells Canyon | November 19, 2024

This first post has had my mind careening.  Deep overthinking and a general neglect of gut feeling have given way to pushing off posting this for almost two weeks, but it’s time. So here it goes:

Something that has really overtaken my daily perspective in the past two months is this:  I am so goddam new to this life thing. I’m constantly falling over the line of perceived comfort and always searching for a new semblance of emotional, physical, and spiritual balance.  It sucks.  Nighttime often becomes very dreary and days are filled with pushing the edge and not feeling productive. 

I feel like I’m floating in this free space, hung between two sides of a dark canyon.  The old side is lit with falling light as the sun sets, below is an uncomfortable drop dimly lit as the sunset bounces off of the canyon rim. Dark and vaguely shaped, the new side looms overhead and stretches out into unknown space. It reminds me of a quote from Alex Hormozi:

 “It’s the lonely chapter.  It’s the chapter where you don’t fit in with your own friends but you don’t have the outcomes yet to fit into a new group of friends.” 

Yep, meet my new pal the canyon.  

I’ve spent the past year pushing myself out of my comfort zone, reaching for that dark canyon wall.  I worked some interesting and challenging new jobs, I pushed myself outside of my social comfort zone, and hell: I biked across the US. I spent a month bike touring and hiking in Eastern Europe, I walked through Hell (‘s Canyon) and had sense enough to turn back, I moved to a new state, I asked out a couple girls, I strengthened many new relationships and did a hell of a good job taking care of myself along the way.

This is the canyon of life.  Probably won’t ever reach the other side.  But I do take comfort in knowing that at some point the ground will come up a little closer and the light will stretch out and the details of the other side will become slightly less obscure.

More to come.

Tait

1/4/2025